I am not a good writer. I am filled with lots of words, but I don't always have the ability to get them out on paper or the screen where they make sense. I tend to ramble. Just bear with me....
I have so many thoughts in my head tonight...it may be easier if I just type them out one by one and then go back to elaborate.
Tonight, I attended the high school sports banquet. I'm so proud of each one of those kids. I thought the banquet turned out great. The Sports Club is just out of this world and they take such good care of our kids.
I thought tonight was so good because I enjoyed hearing all of the wonderful things that the coaches were saying about the administration, the kids and especially other coaches.
I know how much my husband loves his job. I also know that he has a once in a lifetime boss and a stellar coaching staff. These people make my husband's job easier and better. These are the ones that are behind the scenes and making things come together. He is so blessed to have such great people surrounding him and we are so lucky to be apart of this community.
Tonight, my husband also said some really, really sweet things about myself. Usually, I'm like awww that's so sweet, thanks.... but tonight I just felt numb. I felt like I didn't deserve that much attention or that much recognition from him. I don't always do what I know I should do. Sometimes I'm selfish. Sometimes I say things I don't mean. Sometimes I react depending on my feelings or emotions instead of how I know as a wife ....a Christian wife... should respond. More times than not I let my emotions and feelings get the best of me.
What I hate most of all is that I know better. Sometimes I choose to believe things that are untrue. Sometimes I fall back into my old insecurities. ....and I know better. I let those moments steal time from my, our life and I really hate that.
I love my husband deeply. I care for him so much.
...but as I looked up at him tonight and heard the words he was saying....all I could think of was.... I can do so much better. I want to be the best wife I can be to him. ...and I don't want to settle for good. I want to be the best. I want to remember all of the reasons why I fell in love with him. I want to always put his needs and desires before my own. I don't want to get comfortable. I don't want to ever take for granted his love.
His love has carried me through so many good times and some bad times. He has always been there for me. He has always encouraged me.
He is just a good man. He has a good heart.
I see that at home and I see that in his job.
He goes out of his way to make everybody feel like a somebody. He is just generally happy and wants others to be happy.
He is the one that deserves the attention, the recognition and the thanks.
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